Shrinks and drugs

I had two shrink appointments this week- I keep thinking, if "what you focus on expands," then why the hell am I spending so much time talking and thinking about my problems?

Well, I guess the message I keep getting is to do drugs (Now they tell me) and don't think.

Actually, exercise will take care of both...

I just read the following:

"Serotonin is one of the big three neurotransmitters responsible for depression, along with norepinephrine and dopamine.  My wild-ass guess / rule of thumb is that imbalances of one or more of the three are responsible for 80% of the depression issues.  It's all just a matter of figuring out exactly the extent of the tweaking and what neurotransmitters you exactly need to tweak."

It's both frustrating and reassuring that some of this is actually biological, though still embarrassing. I find it easier to tell people I have colitis than depression or anxiety disorder.

"Yeah, man, I'm cool- I just spend a lot of time on the toilet having diarrhea..."

So I've been walking at the malls, was at Cape Cod for a couple of days, hit the ocean, walked the streets- band practice was the most therapeutic.

The doc-shrink wants me to up my Lexapro another quarter of a tablet. Still taking clonopin.

From what I keep hearing, it takes a while to find the right drug combo and then adapt to it... also, that's also just part of the picture. The shrink told me "one size does not fit all," though my uncle is now presently telling me to take what he takes, do what he does.  (Take drugs and leave nasty phone messages.)

I guess Lexapro is supposed to have some of the fewest side effects- though my sister does well with Wellbutrin and an ADD drug...

It's difficult.... you try to get a handle on all this stuff yourself, but that doesn't guarantee that the rest of the planet is gonna cooperate with you.... I feel like wearing a billboard saying "Please- I'm trying to restore myself to sanity- don't upset me!"

Sometimes "it gets worse before it gets better...."

Then tomorrow's Another day... Oy!