Spilled my guts out like a cracked skull- the e-mail to my boss goes out tomorrow morning, after I call in sick. Gave 'im a piece of my mind.... maybe too much, it's painful and exhausting to let all that out.. downright embarrassing, too... If I could flick a switch the job would be over, never to return, and I'd be regrouping. It was a last gasp, last-ditch attempt to retain the dignity that goes with my position and not be demoted to a grey suit.... they're hiring a new person and there are two shmucks and a truly evil bitch I'm working with... my allies are cowards, so it's up to me to literally rock the Apple cart.. but war is hell and I wanna go/stay home. I'm on ambien but this time it isn't enough- I actually want a fucking drink! Do they still make cigarettes?.....Is there a way to blow your brains out without getting hurt or dying?
Well, I'll just sleep it off... but I hope to leave the job and I surely need a Nixonian gap in the tape before the next one..
Well, not exactly. I'm in a creative hell again- use it or it'll get you in the end. I just wanna write songs for a while, and sleep most of the days till I'm not sick and tired of being sick and tired anymore.
The band too makes me sick. Weird, though- from the little I've heard from them lately- my brother and sister too are going through unspecified hell.. I can relate- ya don't even wanna vent anymore!
Yeah, fuck the band, fuck the therapist.... I am no longer susceptable to her Reality Distortion Field. In other words, she's full of crap. Nice woman, very supportive, but she does nothing for me!
Maybe I should find one who prescribes drugs, or look up the old bastard who abandoned me and left counseling to see the world. That bastard gave me light-bulb moments when he wasn't laughing his ass off at me!
Hope you're doing better...
(Shit! Even if I win I'm too wiped out to leave the house!)
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